Posts tagged ‘parents’

Parent Coach Tips: Who Wants A Parenting Makeover?

Your Parenting Cheat Sheet

Your Parenting Cheat Sheet

You don’t have to be ugly to benefit from a beauty makeover.  Parenting is the same.  You can freshen your outlook and results with a few tricks of the trade and simple tools that will stop your minor parenting issues in their tracks. 

Go Live. At a parent conference, workshop or course, you can get so much accomplished.  See how you are making power struggles last longer and more frequent due to a parent’s bad habits.  Communication Gears clear up so many repetitive conversations.  You get to ask questions and hear the coaching of other parents which in turn may help your family.

Read & Think.  If you are a contemplative parent or going through a divorce with emotional ups and downs; a book, blog, audio product or DVD may be a good bet.  You pick the where and when yet can stop at will.  This helps you understand parenting issues at the basic level.  You may miss how to structure a useful A + B = C Statement to manage tantrums with a child, but when it is reviewable, things start to gel so your parenting moments are smoother.

Talk Shop.  Do you use conversation to make a change or decision?  Then get with the Parent Coaching Hotline.  This is so hot, so new, so unheard of, parents don’t get it.  For under $96, you become a member plus get the eBook and Home Starter Kit.  Then, just $16 a month gives you access to a Parent Coach for unlimited topics, 30 minutes per topic!  One Dad called to check in on his idea to use his daughter’s Birthday party as privilege for how she was relating to the new family after his marriage.  In minutes, he had a confident, empowered plan that worked!

 

Your Family Can Work, Beautifully!

Your Family Can Work, Beautifully!

Cheat Sheet. Feel like you forget the logic you know when you get triggered by your child?  Parenting discipline includes having a structure  that is there for your “family” even when you are off.  The Home Starter Kit has it all posted for you.  Keep track of the current Agreements that work for your family, refer to the four Communication Gears when your child is Demanding the *%$@ out of you, manage your chosen Privileges to motivate behavior choices (and they do NOT have to match the neighbors), avoid sounding like an idiot in public with your iron clad Rights worked out, let them know where you will not negotiate with Parent In Charge situations, but give lots of appropriate power through the Child In Charge list.  If you haven’t seen it you gotta check it out!

Open The Door.  Ever wished Supernanny could come to your house?  It’s certainly possible.  What you don’t realize is how much your parenting can improve even if the family is not in crisis.  A Parent Coach can see so many patterns at work in your family that are hidden to you.  It takes usually 4 hours over 2 sessions.  Go from parenting fail to parenting that amazes even you!

http://www.licensed2parent.com/self_navigation_parenting.html

October 19, 2009 at 5:45 pm Leave a comment

Parent Coaching Tip: Are You To Blame? YES!

Do you take credit for the job you do?

Do you take credit for the job you do?

I have news for parents.  It IS all your fault. 

Your children are not flawed or incapable of minding you.  But parents do care about how kids turn out, so it is hard to stand there and say; I did this, I’m the reason I don’t like my own child.  As a Parent Coach, I hear many excuses for kid’s behavior.  Sick, tired, big day coming up, letters next to their name.  This keeps the pressure off the parents when the fan is on and things are hitting it.  I get that. 

What I don’t get is the opposite effect.  When parents I coach get results, (happens everytime, yes, everytime) they will “blame” something else for the turnaround they created!

One client visited an extended family who’s parenting they admire, and was surprised when the Aunt gave them a glowing parenting compliment, then shared it around the family!  They insisted it was just luck that it was a quiet day for their child!  NOT!

I just got off the phone with someone who’s two year old hit in frustration and had a meltdown 3 times a week.  It was so hard for Mom to endure.  Now this child may hit when thwarted, but then without a word, they go off to the sit spot for some thinking time on their own then stay there until invited back.  WOW!  Dad felt the hitting should be over by now, PLUS they had not realized or congratulated themselves on major progress!  This child has stopped losing control and is trusting the system they put in place.

I’m getting to work making sure parents know they are both the reason and solution for their parenting struggles; furthermore, they need to feel OK  to claim bragging rights when they become the rocking parents they dreamed they could be!  Find some rocking parents yourself and compliment them today.  But don’t let them tell you it’s the weather or the economy…

July 6, 2009 at 3:12 pm Leave a comment

Parent Coaching Tip: Get Started Already! Agreements Await

A big part of the Family Plan Starter Kit

A big part of the Family Plan Starter Kit

I’ve done some research.  Here’s what those I’ve asked have said;  when they hear about my program they immediately see value and like the concepts.  Here’s what else they say.  That they don’t get started right away!  WHAT?  Are you kidding me?  The results can’t happen without getting started, and believe me the results are the Juice of our program.  You can study Power Struggles all you want, but if you don’t change anything with your kids, nothing will change.

So I asked why and here’s what they say:

Too busy to really make the plan to present to kids

Didn’t know how to explain it to the kids

Couldn’t figure out all the the parts first.

Here’s what you need to know!  Stop acting like you have to figure everything out first and then have the heavens open and the angels sing to make a difference in your family.  Want to get started today?  Here’s how…

The NEXT issue that comes up in your family, notice it and mentally mark it for your first Agreement.After things settle down, say, “The way you and your sister were fighting didn’t wotk for me, did it work for you?”

Ask, “Do you want a family that works?”

Say, “What Agreement can we have that covers fighting that we can agree to have as important?”

Once they figure this out, ask, “OK so we agree to Be Gentle and Use Words When Upset, can you agree to that?”

BAM!  You have your first Agreement.  Stop waiting for your Fairy Godmother to fix it all up for you.  When you ask yourself and your family what they Want More Of and Want Less Of in the family, you will get plenty to make into Agreements.  Cars are a great place to have these talks.  If you have media on your car, TURN IT OFF!  Way better talks that way.

You can leave your inner evil step-parent in the dust and create the fairy tale family of your dreams.  Make it happen today!

.

March 29, 2009 at 8:25 pm Leave a comment

Parent Coaching: No You Share!

Must a Child Share?  Do You?

Must a Child Share? Do You?

You’re in the park and another child wants the toy your child is currently playing with.  Quick, what  would you do?  Be honest, how many times have you encouraged, expected, begged, coerced or forced your child to share?  Now ask, why you would do that?  To save face,  to impress the other parent, to teach your child to be nice or considerate? 

Next question:  would you lend your car keys, purse or husband to just anyone?  Even your best friend would know to ask nicely and expect nothing.  And some things are off limits.  Period.  So are adults really sharing in the way that we ask our kids to share?  Not really.  Yet the prevailing opinion is that sharing is good, being selfish is bad.  So what can a thoughtful parent do?

Stop making kids share is a good start.  If you want to teach consideration in a real world context, explore Trading as a replacement.  Instead of insisting that one child arbitrarily loses some power by giving up a toy or a turn to another, ask them to find something of value to trade.  When the deals start being made you have a whole new lesson to enjoy!

Kids who have trading skills have practiced finding things others will value, making powerful requests, accepting no as an answer, negotiating creative counter offers and finding a way to solve conflict without force.  Not bad for a day at the park!

Start your trading coaching right now.  To balance and include altruistic giving experiences for your child, get connected with a charity your family is passionate about.  Share your love, not your toys!

.

January 18, 2009 at 4:39 pm Leave a comment

Parent Coaching: Do Parents Keep Agreements?

Who Parents The Parents?

Who Parents The Parents?

Yes, but not the same ones as your kids!  When House Rules are made by a family, it seems only fair that the adults and the kids are responsible for keeping them, right?  Not so much!

This may fly in the face of the way you have been doing things at home, but check it out:  The Agreements exist so that the children are taught a standard of behavior they are working on.  Take Being Grateful.   Kids need lots of practice with this one.  How about using a quiet voice inside?  Mom still struggling with that one?  No.

Think of the hundreds of Agreements parents are currently managing and those they have mastered over time; compare that to the Agreements listed for your family.  You figured out Be Gentle decades ago, right?  The Agreements are there to guide your child and provide a measurement for them to compare choices in the moment. 

When rules are broken, it begs a corresponding punishment.  Agreements are different.  If you don’t keep your agreement, you measure yourself (or your parent coaches you) and you choose again, knowing the consequences.  To encourage or expect a child to monitor adult behavior, point out when it is lacking and Demand a price be paid if  parent breaks their word is inappropriate power.  If you do it you are feeding the monster you are working to slay.

Adults manage their own agreements:  Speed limits, fidelity, businesses, mortages, bills, ethical and legal concerns are real and present.  Adults experience natural consequences for keeping them or not.   That is the real world, to do otherwise gives kids practice with an artificial world they can’t use to cope later on. 

There is more to learn, get the Audio Download on Agreements (and a bunch of other cool topics) here.  Five dollars for one/ 8 for $25. http://www.licensed2parent.com/services.html

.

January 15, 2009 at 2:10 am Leave a comment

Parent Plan: Know What You Say

Most conflict in families are caused by Power Struggles, agreed?  Well what if you were causing ,say, half without even realizing it?  Would you want to know?  Good, I want to tell you.  It’s how you talk to your kids that is the problem.  You wouldn’t drive to work in reverse, so why are you asking a child “Can we go now?” or “Do you want to take a bath?”

These are the Communication Gears.  Knowing them makes for less upsets in families, period.  Suggest things that are low key.  Whatever dude.  Request when you are OK with getting NO or a COUNTER OFFER, and don’t when you aren’t!  When it is time to be the parent, make a Demand and be consistent, but use sparingly!  Commands are for saftey and danger.  Yell when you need to alert, not just to let off steam!!!! 

Now we can use this knowledge to teach our family or manipulate them.  Can you recognize the difference? 

Suggestions can be sweet OR sarcastic

Requests are made powerfully OR with a pretense

Demands convey respect OR dominatation

Commands imply concern OR exasperation

Start listening to How you say What you say.  Both mean something.  When your message and meaning match, you get better results.  To learn more on the entire family plan, visit the website and look for the Build A Better Family Starter Kit:  http://www.licensed2parent.com/services.html

.

.

January 6, 2009 at 6:13 am Leave a comment

Parent Coaching Tip: Use Agreements, Lose Rules

This video is hilarious!  What a talented way to illustrate why we coach parents to make agreements with kids instead of thinking up the next “great” rule then telling your family about it.  Funny is funny because it hits close to home.  Unfortunately, this 3 minute string of Mom-isms shows how we come off sounding when we rely on rules, nagging and “SHOULD sandwiches with MUSTard!” to get the parenting  job done.

Open your parenting mind and see what other options you have to raise a person with coping skills… but first enjoy this video because it is true fun!  Hint: educate yourself about making Agreements instead.  Totally cool & way better results!

.

.

December 16, 2008 at 6:25 pm 1 comment

Older Posts


Dawn Roth

My mission is to cause a monumental shift in parenting as we know it! Wanna help?

Follow Licensed2Parent On Twitter!

Licensed 2 Parent Pages

Categories

Recent Posts

Last Tweeted…

Blog Stats

  • 4,595 hits
Add to Technorati Favorites
Add to Technorati Favorites

WANT TO REQUEST A FREE CRASH COURSE?

#SignUp .signupframe { border: 1px solid #000000; background: #ffffff; color: #226699; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; }

Dawn Is Getting The Book Done With This!