Parent Coaching Tip: Pissed Parents Get Piss Poor Results

April 11, 2009 at 1:11 am 2 comments

I am noticing a hidden trend with the Parents I am currently Coaching.  They get good at the basic program and deliver it well.  But there is a difference with their results.  They get more resistance, it takes more struggle to have a child choose to help create a family that works.  I began to wonder, what’s that about?

I figured it out.  Each time I talk to a family, I learn things.  What I learned this week, was this.  Take two Parents using the same program we teach.  One says, “You are not listening the first time, either do it now or we will talk abour privileges.”  They are calm, fine with this development, and ready to act if needed.  The other parent says, ” YOU are NOT listening the First Time, do you want to lose a Privilege, young LADY!?”  They are personally upset, disappointed and disapproving of the child. 

If you think there is no difference, you are wrong.  A child who has already lost your approval is not as motivated to choose what works because your family is not working RIGHT NOW.  A child who has a pissed off parent will find another way to get revenge or do other odd behaviors to avoid dealing with you the way you are.  It is truly facinating. 

Here’s the Coaching- Deliver the parenting in a calm, friendly manner.  If kids know they aren’t triggering your emotions, they won’t do t on purpose.  If they know you haven’t gotten upset, they deal better with being parented. 

Be cool, great job, good luck!

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. GINGER SETSER  |  April 13, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    This makes so much sense and I know I have been guilty of this. I will be more aware of my words and tone now, thanks for sharing Dawn!

    Reply
  • 2. mintj  |  April 17, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Thank you so much… i am quick to anger and feel frustrated… I am working really hard to be more patient…

    This is great information…

    It all makes sense…

    Reply

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Dawn Roth

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