Parent Coaching: Games Families Play

November 18, 2008 at 7:50 pm Leave a comment

I was coaching a family the other day.  Great parents.  Strong marriage.  Cool kids.  They all reported feeling upset, frustrated and angry at one another on a regular basis.  Sound familiar?  Parents are often surprised that getting coached can help all types of families.  The idea that only families in crisis or misery can use coaching is a myth.  Even great families can see improved results.  Here’s why:

Imagine if your game came with no rules!

Imagine if your game came with no rules!

 The Game is On

When families come together, or get created, it is either by choice (marriage, adoption) or by birth.  The adults seem to have all the power and the children are struggling for that power.  However you got into your family, you are still impacted by the dynamics at play. It is as if there is a game being played without the playbook. 

Imagine you join a group with a hugely important job to do but there are no rules, the teams are unclear, the plan of action keeps changing, you are not sure how to get points, how to win or lose is a mystery and the objective has never been explained.  Sounds fun, huh?

 

This game is being played all over the world by families.  A good friend of mine once said, “In the absence of good information, we make things up!”  Sound familiar?  If parents and kids are all making up their actions and reactions without a plan, a goal, a playbook and general game play rules, the result can never be better than haphazard. 

 

Coaching Is the Approach

Getting coached is the equivalent of creating your family playbook.  Choosing the goals you have as a family defined as the kind of adults you want to set loose on the world, setting up your basic agreements, getting clear guidance on who is in charge of what decisions, what rights and privileges work for your family and how to communicate all of this to the group is where you define the game you play together. 

 

By offering parents a system to create their family as they would like it to be, we are affecting the lives of each member. Families that work have better days at school, are more productive at work, have less absenteeism to deal with behavior issues, enjoy less stress and are able to focus on contributing to others in a larger sense because they are not bogged down by the general concerns of a family that does not work. 

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Entry filed under: Parent Coaching Tips, Parenting Plan. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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