Parent Coaching Tip: The Moment of Choice

The System My Program Teaches- It Is Different From What You Are Used To!

I just checked…I’ve appeared 10 times in the last 2 months to deliver The Parenting Crash Course.  I open it with a 3 Question Pop Quiz.  I continue to be astonished by the overwhelming response to my last item.  I ask parents to raise their hand if they consequence their child when they break a rule.  98% of all hands go up EVERYTIME!  Is yours up?

I believe this is one of the things that is broken about parenting!  I call it the Scales of Justice Model.  When you approach discipline as an out of balance equation that requires a consequence, you are being dominating!  Too bad if you don’t like it, it is a fact.  Consider this; you have a job that needs you there by 9am daily.  After weeks of on time arrivals, you get there after 9am.  Regardless of calling to let them know or the reason, YOU ARE FIRED!  How would that feel?  How fearful of being late would you be in your next job?  It is not realistic in the adult world, but we do it to children all the time.

Imagine being a kid.  Stepping out of line is part of the process (remember learning to walk or feed yourself?) but everytime you mess up, you have an upset parent who takes your stuff. Are you living in fear?  You bet you are!  What effect does that have on your enjoyment of life?  How about your ability to cooperate and be a pleasure?  After 14 years we accuse teens of being sullen.  How would you react?  How did you? 

Learn about the A+B=C system and get another option.  Kids need a moment of choice from a calm parent who expects some corrections then provides guidance needed to develop coping skills.  Having the confidence to deliver that system means you both can have shorter and fewer Parenting Moments and get back to what matters, fun!